Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
