i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize