bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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