Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize