bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
