Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
