I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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