thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
