Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize