Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
