THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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