If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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