bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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