idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
