matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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