that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He passed out mid-signature
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
