Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I touched a dick in church today
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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