why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
