he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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