i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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