just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
