i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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