I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
