so that wasnt chicken after all
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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