i already hear my dad disowning me
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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