I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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