I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
