it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
