Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
