It's just like the Real World with babies
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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