Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
