she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Randomize