Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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