found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
