hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
