you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
