super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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