Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
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