Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
