How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
