im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
