So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
