I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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