It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
