All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
