you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
