I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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