I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
