i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
