You just made me feel so damn special
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize