You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
