i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
that is very illegal...i love you.
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