Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just invented taco cereal.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Of course I have a pirate flag
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
