Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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