Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Randomize
