If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
