I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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