tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
