ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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