im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize