He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
