I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
that is very illegal...i love you.
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