I'm lost and stupid without you.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Someone signed my nipple.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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