you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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