you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
