Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
