"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
ttyl tear gas
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
