i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
