Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
