OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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