I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
