Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
