I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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