You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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