So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize