need another drink. this is the easiest way
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
